![]() You ain’t got a problem over here anymore. In fact, you got a problem over here, you ain’t even gotta look. Further away you are, the more shit you hit. “It’s got a good spread.” I’m like, “What does that mean?” He goes, “Well, that means you ain’t gotta be that accurate. It’s easy to load, doesn’t have a lot of working parts. All right?” Dude’s just like… “You need a shotgun. So I was like, “What do I do here? Ah, hell, I’m gonna go with honesty.” I go, “Look, dude, I don’t know anything about guns. I feel like a bitch, ’cause I don’t know anything about guns. 357 Magnum? Right?” Starts rattling off all this gibberish, right? I don’t know shit. Whatcha looking for? Whatcha want? Mossberg? Over/under? A. I’m like, “Hey, man.” I go, “I wanna get a gun.” He’s like, “I hear ya. So I go down to that little gun store, right? Come walking in. What am I gonna do if some dude turns me upside down, starts shaking the gold coins outta my pockets? I gotta get a gun. Get a windmill.” Right? And that’s all well and good, but if you don’t know how to fight, all you’re doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block. You’re just thinking… “What am I gonna do when the zombies come?” Right? Start reading up on shit. This city just messes with your mind, you know? It’s overpopulated, technically doesn’t have a water supply. I never had that feeling before till I moved out to Los Angeles. ![]() All right, all right, all right, all right. Ladies and gentlemen: Bill Burr! All right.
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